Omg my boyfriend’s voice just got so high right now. I can never hit that note :(
If you like me, I’m sorry?
A couple nights ago me and someone who I’m interested in but not enough to make it official but I love to cuddle so I can’t be completely negligent but also don’t want to sound to interested in, tried role playing. I couldn’t stop laughing. And when he asked me to play dead, I fell asleep. I’m going to start introducing him as my fiance starting next week.
Are you there Febreeze? It’s me, hygiene.
At this point, I don’t know what is stinking up my fridge. As long as my cream cheese hasn’t expired I’m cool with it.
On another note, how do I become a spokesmodel for Philadelphia Cream Cheese?
I HAVE THE FACE FOR IT
I love wint-o-green Life Savers mints more than life itself!
The Art of Choosing A Profile Picture
The profile picture is the first thing people see when judging you. Does your picture say “Hey, look at me! I’m a raging slut” or does it say “Hey, look at me! I have entertainment value and am fully clothed.” Here’s some helpful tips!
- No photos older than a year, us human beings tend to fluxuate (and yeah, I’m talking about your weight not your interests)
- Try to be adorable as possible, like me!
- Crop out any distractions that detour the stalker away from your beautiful face
- Learn how to use Photoshop
- Make sure you’re not showing too much skin, got to make them work for it girls! (or guys, not too sure who’s reading this…)
- If you have nice teeth go ahead and smile! If not, frown the shit out of that mug.
Bedtime SHEMMMMDTIMES
Sleep is the best thing that has ever happened to the brain & nervous system, and not to mention society. During REM, if you’re lucky enough to reach that level, our bodies are able to revitalize themselves in preparation for another mundane day at work. Our inner thoughts are manifested into weird, whacked out dreams that have absolutely no explanation (I might document one of my own, but I probably won’t because I have enough people judging me as is!). If you told me as a child that I would enjoy, even relish at the thought of taking a nap I would be like “What?! NO! That’s for babies. I love being awake.” Times have changed, and so has my sleeping pattern. I have subconsciously trained my body to sleep through all hours of the day so that I can *party at night.
*blog
Love Me Or Date Me
I get maybe two crushes a year, at the most. Believe it or not, the economy effects my relationship status more than anything, and being in a recession doesn’t help. I’m not trying to be spontaneously romantic and shower the person with gifts or go out to eat all the time - it should be the other way around (BOYS). Relationships are more predictable than the ending of a romantic comedy. If I was as picky with the food I ate as I am with the people I crush on I would literally STARVE! I’d like to think I don’t know everything, but then I’d just be lying to myself. And you know what they say “insert cliche for practical, yet comical ending.”
That’ll be me on Saturday. Except for the fact that I have a leaner bod and more vibrant swimsuit.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
The Strokes
—Machu Picchu
alternative music just speaks to me (sings to me - if you like to be literal, as in literally an asshole)
I Am Single Because…
1. My standards
2. The notion the right one is out there (false hope)
3. I can’t stand human interaction with the same person over a long period of time
4. Glee
5. I prefer the right side of the bed, show me the person that doesn’t.
